The ability to accept what we can and cannot change is a key skill in maintaining a good mental and emotional health. Many of us often feel powerless in the face of life circumstances that are out of our control, but learning to accept what we cannot change is an important part of growing up and adjusting. At least that’s what he guarantees. Beatriz Gil Vault , psychologist specializing in self-esteem, leadership and personal development. Founder & CEO of Psique Cambio, that “we must be able to separate and know how to differentiate what we can change and what is not under our control.” “To the extent that we can accept the situations that we cannot change, we will have more serenity and we will be happier,” she says.
The psychology expert indicates that one of the reasons why it is difficult to accept what we cannot change is because we tend to focus on the end result we want instead of focusing on what is within our control. For example, if someone is looking for a job and can’t find one, they can focus on the lack of work instead of focusing on what is within their control, such as improving and enhancing their resume and start building professional relationships and improving the networking. By focusing on what we cannot change, we feel powerless and frustrated. However, focusing on what is within our control gives us strength and motivation for action.
Five tips that help
1. Identify your thoughts and emotions. Self-talk, how we talk to ourselves or what story we tell ourselves are key factors when it comes to worrying or dealing with situations. Before we can accept a situation, we must be aware of our thoughts and emotions in relation to it. Beatriz Gil Bóveda encourages us to ask ourselves the following questions: What am I thinking and feeling about this situation? Am I trying to control something that I cannot change?… «By identifying and recognizing our thoughts and emotions, we can begin to work in changing our perspective and finding a way to accept the situation, opening up the possibilities”, he comments.
2. Change your ‘mindset’. To learn to accept what we cannot change, it is important to change our way of thinking. Therefore, according to the expert, instead of focusing on the final result, we must focus on what is within our control: «If something is outside of our control, such as the socio-political situation or the health of a loved one, we must accept that we can’t change it and focus on how we can adapt and make the best of what we have.”
3. find time to stop: «I propose you to do mindfulness since another way of accepting what we cannot change. Meditation and mindfulness teach us to accept the present moment without judging it or trying to change it. They teach us to be present in the moment and to accept what is without trying to change it”, he says.
4. Lean on your inner circle. It is also very important to have a support network of friends and family who can help us come to terms with it. “Sometimes when we’re struggling with something we can’t change, it helps to talk to someone who can listen and support us. If you think that it is not enough, seek professional help”, advises Beatriz Gil Bóveda.
5. practice gratitude. Gratitude is a practice that helps us focus on the good things in life and stay more positive. Keeping a gratitude journal can help you come to terms with difficult situations by focusing on the positive instead of the negative. “Try to make a daily list of things you’re grateful for, even in difficult situations,” he recommends.
In summary, learning to accept what we cannot change is a very important skill for the emotional well-being. “By focusing on what is within our control and practicing meditation and mindfulness, we can learn to accept what we cannot change and adapt to life’s circumstances,” he concludes. In addition, having a personal and professional support network can be very useful to help us get through difficult times.