2024-03-28 23:00:00
“Of course we wish we could leave things on a factual level in difficult situations,” explains Salzburg couples counselor Dieter Ehrenreich. We tell ourselves that the thing itself has nothing to do with our emotions, “but I think that’s one of our biggest mistakes.” With his wife Angela, he accompanies couples, especially when things get challenging in the relationship.
“Couples counseling is a good idea for start-up couples.”
Dieter Ehrenreich
Consultant, trainer, coach
Many couples who visit the Ehrenreich practice have both private and business relationships. First, they seek business advice. In business coaching it often becomes clear that the emotional level needs attention first. Because what is shown at the couple level is inevitably reflected at the company level. If children are added, the parents also get involved. “We first help to create awareness of these three levels. Then we try to look at them separately from each other. At the same time, we have to accept that they are not really emotionally separable.”
“Push your emotions away,” is what Angela Ehrenreich often hears from men in practice. But that is neither possible nor sensible. It would be much better to take a closer look at the underlying emotional script. “If we are able to sharpen our awareness of our own feelings, then we have already prepared well in the event of a conflict.”
The Ehrenreichs know what they’re talking about. After all, they have been a couple for 23 years with three children and a consulting company. After the company was founded, it was clear to Angela and Dieter that their joint business activities could not endanger their “we”. “In such a case, we would terminate the business relationship.”
If a couple wants to start a relationship, they should think about these things in advance
What do we do when business activities influence our relationship?
“Before starting a business, we go to the bank and get advice. Support in the form of couples counseling would also be a good idea,” recommends Dieter Ehrenreich, “after all, there is much more at stake than just economic success.” If economic success is not achieved, this could put additional strain on the couple’s relationship. “Once you start your business together, you will no longer be unemployed on your own.” The risk also exists in the other direction: if the relationship fails, then the company is also at risk.
Processed in a children’s book: Oli doesn’t become lion food
Béa’s anger ultimately did not tear up her relationship with Oliver. In order to process what she had experienced, she wrote the children’s book “Oli Löwenfutter” and illustrated it together with her daughter. In the story, because Oli does something his girlfriend doesn’t like, she wants to feed him to wild animals. So Oli becomes a bear’s feast, a crocodile snack and finally lion food. But the animals in the story make it clear to the girl how she can reduce her anger. They don’t want to eat Oli, they would rather eat the girl’s feelings. “We won’t eat him,” the leopard purrs when Oli is about to become a leopard lollipop. “Better give us a piece of your displeasure.” And so the girl throws her negative feelings to the animals, from anger to anger and annoyance. Until in the end only feelings like love and friendship remain. Then the couple discovers new perspectives together.
They no longer founded the company together. But since the bankruptcy, they have paid much more attention to what is good for them as a couple: “We both love warmth and light and have therefore decided to spend half the year in Tenerife.”
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