how to react to a loved one who keeps complaining?

2023-10-15 12:52:39

But even in the case where the complaint of a friend, a partner or a colleague is concrete and justified, it happens that we can no longer take it… Pinel

PSYCHOLOGY – Lending a listening ear can be justified… but not to the detriment of our own mental health.

What’s more common than complaining? We all have good reason to lament about inflation, the ingratitude of a teenager or the delay of public transport. But what could be more exhausting than that loved one moaning continuously? Our desire to support him sometimes ends up competing with our need for a more positive environment. All that remains is to make him understand without hurting him or being rude…

For Saverio Tomasella, psychologist and psychoanalyst, it is important to distinguish complaining from complaining. “The complainers take pleasure in degrading everything and sowing doubt about the legitimate actions of othersspecifies the author of the book The Calimero Syndrome (Pocket book). In their eyes, nothing can ever improve a situation. It is better to protect yourself from them by not responding to them. We would exhaust ourselves in vain to convince them.”