A mother experienced unexpected grief after her 22-year-old son announced during a warm summer dinner that he had accepted a new job in Indiana and would be moving there in a month. While she was happy for his new job and upcoming wedding, she was surprised that he was leaving months earlier than she had anticipated.
Last year, after graduating from college, her son had moved back home to save money for his future alongside his long-term partner, who was attending graduate school a few hours away. After they got engaged and set a wedding date for November, the author had assumed he would live at home until closer to the wedding.
Packing Up and Saying Goodbye
In what seemed like mere minutes, the family was packing up his things and helping him move into his new apartment. Amid the physical exhaustion of moving, the mother felt almost numb and confronted a sadness she had not anticipated.
She realized she was not going to miss cooking for him, as she does not particularly enjoy it, nor was she going to miss the fact that he never unloaded the dishwasher or replaced the laundry detergent. Instead, she was going to miss simply having him around, seeing and talking to him when work schedules allowed, his sense of humor, and their shared love of ice cream and cats. Her husband also missed having someone to hit golf balls with and talk about sports teams and trades.
Recognizing a Familiar Feeling of Loss
Although she did not recognize it at first, the feeling of loss was familiar. She had experienced similar emotions when pregnant with her second child, feeling thrilled while also grieving the life of their family of three. She felt it again when dropping her son off at college, grasping that the family dynamic at home would change.
As she and her husband drove home after helping him move, she came to terms with the startling thought that her son probably would not live with them again. However, the sadness has since lessened as they have resumed texting funny memes, sharing cat pictures, and discussing wedding preparations.
