A discussion with your partnerand disgust in the officeand grab With your mother or even a simple daily annoyance can put our war footing emotional universe. Suddenly you feel upset, annoyed, angry, annoyed, outraged, irritated, pissed off, enraged… When the intense emotions as the ira appear in our lives, we must be clear about three things: one, that we must pay attention to themtwo, that you have to take hold of the emotional intelligenceand three, that decisions should not be made until they have been tempered. One of the consequences of a mismanaged emotion is he stress and anguish. Rather rebalance ourselves emotionallywe get caught up in a vicious circle of rumination y negativity. We propose you four steps to balance your emotions after an anger or an argument and a very useful technique to practice it. according to different studiespeople who apply it suffer less stress and anguish, are less likely to remember that bad moment and have less recurring thoughts.
How to manage your emotions after anger in 4 steps
We have heard a lot about emotional intelligence but we don’t always know how to apply it to our life.
A trick to reduce anger: get away from the conflict zone and take several deep breaths, activating your vagus nerve.
- Feel your emotion: Ultimately, it is about manage emotion, not to control it so let it flowinwardly, do not put dams on it. stop for a moment and listen to it.
- Identify the message of your emotion. As they explain the emotional intelligence experts as Daniel Golemanthey do not exist good or bad emotionsthey are all there to generate in us the self protection and self care. Anger, for example, protects you from injustice, from aggression. Identifies what is he trying to tell you.
- Wait for the intensity of the emotion to subside. Emotions, if they are very intense, can reach cloud our mind making it difficult for us think clearly. A trick to reduce anger: get away from the conflict zone and take several deep breaths, activating your vagus nerve. The calm it won’t be long in coming.
- Decide what you are going to do with the message of your emotion. Sort outmaking a decision regarding the message of that emotion will help you not to fall into the trap of rumination and of the negative thoughts. Here plays a very important role self-esteem well understood. You will have to identify your tyrant side demanding, to your tendency to self-immolate or never give you the reasonto put aside anger that does not belong to youto your ability to put limits what hurts you, but also to be able to criticize someone without disrespect.
A useful technique to manage anger: self-distancing
Narrate the negative experience as if it had happened to another person and try to analyze it from the positive point of view.
they call it self distancing because it consists of “step back” by using the writing. It is about taking a pencil and paper and writing what has happened to you in order to reflect about the event that sparked emotion from a distance, with perspective. As explained by experts from El Pilar Medical Center“Writing allows us to analyze the things that happen to us in a clearer way by not being something as fleeting as a thought. In addition, it allows us to see those thoughts from the outside and take a different perspective from them. By joining the two brain hemispheres in the same task (the right hemisphere is in charge of the creative part and the emotions and the left one of the more rational part), reinforces emotional balance and we can understand our feelings and thoughts and keep them under control. With the emotional writing we can stabilize our emotional state and relax in moments of crisis, stress or anxiety. How to do it? Narrates the negative experience as if it had happened to another person and tries to analyze it from the realistic and more positive point of view. Take your conclusions.