2023-11-10 21:14:00
If this “Single day” has become over the years a pretext for commercial operations of all kinds, it is also an opportunity to question the condition of “single” in these 2020s, especially in the midst of an era of multiplication of applications of met.
In France, there are no less than 18 million single people according to the latest INSEE census (2017). Among them, 37% women and 43% men. But, to begin with, what does being single today really mean? In the 1960s, the development of cohabitation saw the term evolve beyond the categories established by civil status (married, single, widowed). “The term is always used to describe the marital status of a single, unmarried person, even if they live as a couple. But, most of the time, when we talk about “single”, we mainly mean a person who is simply not in a relationship,” explains sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufmann, author of many essays on the theme of conjugality.
“I have extramarital affairs, am I unfaithful?”
“A way to prolong your youth”
As for society’s view of single people, we also note, according to the expert, a clear evolution. “In the past, society’s judgment was very harsh on ‘old guys’ and ‘old girls’. But, over the past forty years, single people have been less and less stigmatized, to the point that they can appear today as “trendy” models displaying autonomy and freedom, a way of prolonging one’s youth. points out the sociologist. A “trendy” model, celibacy? Some studies attest to this. This is the case of the one made by Tinder “Single not sorry. Celibacy according to Gen Z in France”, carried out from January 9 to 17, 2019 among a French population of 500 singles aged 18 to 25 (and published in February of the same year). 74% of them said they made the decision to be single deliberately. “That said, in certain contexts, such as family reunions for example, the marital norm resurfaces from the depths, as if it had not been completely repressed,” adds Jean-Claude Kaufmann.
The evolution of the solo lifestyle also owes a lot to the now commonplace use of dating apps. Anna Hinstsyak is Chief Marketing Officer of Pure. This libertine dating application was launched in 2013 in the United States by two Ukrainians, Roman Sydorenko and Oleksandr Kuhtenko, before expanding to several countries such as France in 2015. On the occasion of this “single day”, Pure (whose users are increasingly Generation Z, those under 25) has teamed up with the Dutch sex toy brand Biird for the launch of a female sex toy called “Gii x Pure”. The (marketing) idea: “Celebrate individuality and self-confidence.” Knowing that women represent 52% of Pure users, Anna Hinstsyak told Libération.
Pure is considered an app dedicated to “sex plans”. In other words, the platform is a playground where singles and free couples can immediately be naughty (the app allows in particular the sending of nude photos which, once consulted by the recipient, are automatically deleted, without the possibility of screenshot). That said, Anna Hinstasyak tempers it, talking about a tool that rather encourages open relationships and casual dates. “Certainly, some singles go from sex date to sex date. But this is not the case for everyone. Many of our users are in open relationships, others are exploring, she analyzes. But one of the big trends that we have noticed at Pure is the practice of ENM relationships for Ethical Non Monogamy (“consensual non-monogamy” in French). We are thus observing that more and more people in relationships are looking for intimate or sexual relationships without their partner being involved.”
In May, the company Meetic launched the Even application intended for single parents in France, Germany and England. User profile: single mothers and fathers aged 30 to 45. “The application is also open to non-parents who understand the lifestyle of a single parent,” specifies its spokesperson Marion Graff, interviewed by Libération. In May 2023, we carried out a study with Ipsos Digital among 1,000 single parents to find out their concerns, their obstacles and their fears but also their aspirations in terms of dating. The study reveals that 59% of single parents say they don’t have time to meet new people because they are too busy with their daily lives.”
55% of parents are “ghosted” after saying they have children
And to add that the phenomenon of “ghosting” (no longer giving any news after a virtual exchange) is, in their case, particularly important: more than 55% of single parents declare, in the aforementioned study; having been “ghosted” on an application or a dating site after having indicated that they had children. “With the multiplicity of dating applications, we can say that singles today are spoiled for choice,” continues Marion Graff. On the other hand, things are different for single parents, who are more celibate and not chosen.” World Singles Day is, she praises, an opportunity to highlight those we talk about the least, namely these single parents.
The sociologist Jean-Claude Kaufmann, who explains that he wanted to democratize the term “solos” to designate singles, takes a cautious look at dating apps: “Singles face either a saturation of the virtual, meetings that do not lead to about nothing or feel exhilarated by the idea that their life could change with a click or a match.” And remember: “Singles are not a separate category. We are all single at least at one point in our lives.”
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