Nobel Prize-winning economist Richard Thaler“amazing”Distinguished behavioral scientist Katie Milkman put all her knowledge into it.“How to Change Yourself: A Powerful Behavioral Science That Makes Your Body Move Even if You Don’t Like It”(Written by Katie Milkman, translated by Yuko Sakurai, Diamond Publishing). It is a global bestseller, with publications scheduled in 26 countries around the world.“What can I do to change my behavior and that of others?”Angela Duckworth, a psychologist and author of “Perseverance GRIT”, explains various things while explaining the “principle of behavior” of human beings.「this bookAnyone can become a superhuman by readingHe praised and wrote a preface.In this manuscriptIbid.From, we will introduce some of the surprising contents specially.
Does advice make you feel like you’re no good?
We assume that someone cannot change because they don’t know how, and we try to give them the knowledge they lack and give them advice.
But what if the cause is not “lack of knowledge” but “lack of confidence”? And what if our unwanted advice is doing more harm than good?
Psychologist Lauren Esclais-Winkler knew that people tend to read the hidden meanings of other people’s actions, even when they’re innocent.
By advising others, we“I don’t think you can succeed on your own.”It may be that you are sending a message unintentionally. As if to say, “You’re a bad guy. My two minutes of advice is worth more than everything you’ve learned trying to solve your problems on your own.”
So Lauren thought: What if we turned the script upside down?
If advice destroys your confidence,Those who are struggling may be better off being asked for advice instead of receiving it。
Asking for advice sends the message that you are an intelligent, helpful, exemplary, successful type of person. It proves that I believe in you.
In that sense, writing a piece of advice for others can give you the confidence to achieve your own goals.
Rather, what happens when you “give advice” to people?
A psychology doctoral student, Lauren conducted a series of studies on Americans with unfulfilled goals. People who want to save more money, control their anger, get in shape, find a job, etc., but are having trouble achieving them.
And each time Lauren ran an experiment, she made two discoveries.
First, most people predicted that “getting advice” would be more motivating than “giving advice” when asked directly. That’s why we get so much advice we don’t want.
However, testing the accuracy of this idea in controlled experiments revealed it to be false.Goal-seekers were more motivated when they gave others advice than when they received similar adviceI felt.
Of course, motivation alone is far from enough to change behavior. Lauren’s ideas may not have helped her achieve her actual goals. But it seemed well worth a scaled-up experiment.
Giving advice to others is fun and improves grades
In the winter of 2018, Lauren, Angela Duckworth, Deena Gromay, and I conducted a large-scale experiment to help students meet their academic goals. About 2,000 students from seven high schools across Florida entered the computer room with their teachers on the day of the experiment, just after the start of the new school year.
Some students answered a short questionnaire on their computers.
But the rest of the students did something out of the ordinary. They, like all students, have been counseled at school all this time. “Concentrate on class,” “Practice solving problems before the test,” “Submit your homework by the deadline,” and so on. But today is different.they were asked to give adviceNoda.
These lucky students were asked to advise undergraduates in a 10-minute online survey. For example, “What do you do to prevent procrastination?” “Where do you go when you want to concentrate on your studies?” “Do you have any general advice for people who want to improve their grades?” was done.
After completing the survey, the students went on as usual for the rest of the semester.
At the end of the study period, we measured grades in the subjects the students themselves said were most important, and math (Angela says students would rather eat broccoli than do math homework! ) were collected.
And, lo and behold, our strategy worked. Students who gave just a few minutes of advice performed better in these subjects than the rest of the students.
To be clear, giving someone advice doesn’t have the effect of elevating a mediocre student to valedictorian status. But stillIt had the effect of improving the grades of high school students placed in every situation. Every student, whether a good student, a bad student, a student from a poor family or a student from a wealthy family, improved his grades slightly by giving advice to his peers.
By the way, the students seemed happy to give advice. The high school students who participated in the experiment told their teachers that they had never asked for their opinion before, and that it was a lot of fun. Some students urged with expectation, “When will you be able to do it next time?”
(This manuscript is“How to Change Yourself: A Powerful Behavioral Science That Makes Your Body Move Even if You Don’t Like It”excerpt from)